Day 83 Afternoon - Seeing Is Believing Or Clearly I Know One Dude Who Is Not Going To Be Dating Anytime Soon!

Okay, one of the great saying or cliches or, to be more specific, idioms of Western society is that "Seeing is believing." Traditionally thought to be an expression by St. Thomas when he demands to see the wounds of Jesus upon his appearance after the resurrection , it was first recorded in this exact form in 1639 with the implication that "only physical or concrete evidence is convincing."

If you do not need to see the reality of the rash and the eye-popping proof that it is extremely uncomfortable to live with and quite unpleasant to look at, then go no further. Actually, I am being a bit silly because you have already seen the first of the pictures below, and they are like morbid potato chips. Once you see one, you somehow got to see them all.

Yes, I know once these are out there, I will not be dating any time soon and Singlehood is here to stay for while, but that honestly is the least of my worries right about now. My decision is motivated behind my desire to leave a stark and real account of the side effects and challenges of this new Hepatitis C treatment option. Beyond the Interferon and Ribavirin, the new Protease Inhibitors have been extremely hard for me to handle. Mind you, let's not forget the other two patients in the clinical trial are both doing a-okay except for some fatigue and exhaustion. I don't mean to sound bitter, but lucky them!

Here are the pictures taken with my iPhone at 2:45 pm on Sunday October 23, 2011 —

Yes, I am a bit overwhelmed and just hanging in there...

Yes, this really sucks and it is hard to reveal such bumpy splotchiness in a public forum, but I know deep down where the quiet voice of my higher power speaks softly in a loving tone, I must go on...

Well, that comprises my first pics of the rash and be happy that they are not really in high definition. The iPhone camera is overrated and mediocre at best. But seeing is believing, and the rash is not responding well to anything. At least, not in a consistent manner that outlines a real ongoing treatment strategy. But I am confident that I can survive and the doctors will find a way to temper the itching and stop the further spreading of the rash and heal what has already arisen.

In the back of the overwhelmed picture, you see a work of art by my close friend Raf Green. Based on a picture taken of me at Ocean Beach Club in the summer when I was eight years old and, yes, I was drinking a Coca-Cola with a long straw sticking straight up in the air, and I was hanging on to my family jewels. When Raf saw the pic in the mid-1990s, he insisted on reproducing it in his preferred medium: Crayola crayons, cardboard box and discarded wood. Raf is such a fine artist that his exhibition was once chosen by the L.A. Weekly as the Art Pick of the Week. If you want to see more work and hear great music, please check out Raf's very cool website by hitting this link.

John by Raf Green

It is a pleasure to have his work hanging over the head of my bed, and it reminds me that I always was this insecure and scared little kid who just wanted to be liked and accepted. The thought is an ironic form of consolation because, despite the difficulties I am facing with this rash and the crucible of the treatment process, I know that in truth, I have come a very long way, and like that sweet boy, I am a good man, and I will pass through this crucible and reach the other side, not only healthy, but whole as well.