Day 75 Night - Beyond Complaints And Under Siege: The Questionable Consolation Of "The Worst Side Effects We Have Seen So Far"

When I saw the Clinical Trials Doctor today in what became a marathon of doctor and pharmacy visits, he checked out the rash on my knees, lower legs and elbows, and told me that the side effects I am experiencing are the worst that they have seen so far. The provides a form of questionable consolation because it means that I have gone beyond the realm of complaining and whining. Is it complaining when you spend an entire night doing nothing but trying not to itch and no prescription cream or over-the-counter product even dents the effects?  Combined with the constant heartburn and the multitude of toilet visits every day, it all implies that I actually am dealing with this storm of shit pretty well. I am trapped in a blizzard of side effects from these drugs, and it truly does suck!

A Blizzard Of Side Effects Caused By The Protease Inhibitors

What is intriguing, as I type these words and ignore the quiet cries of my right shin, is that the blizzard of side effects does not seem to be caused by all the drugs. In truth, I seem to be handling the Ribavirin and Interferon pretty well. What I am not handling well is the new experimental Protease Inhibitor, and I fall into the vast minority of bad luck suckers who get both the bad rash and the stomach problems. Yes, I am unlucky compared to the other patients in the clinical trials, and that is life. C'est La Vie...


I mean, honestly, what else can I do? Stop and roll the dice with my liver, hoping that one day I won't wake up with liver cancer or Cirrhosis so bad that I need a liver transplant to even survive. Cirrhosis is scarring of the liver and poor liver function. It is the final phase of chronic liver disease. It is not easy to hear a doctor describe what you are experiencing as your body being under siege by a blizzard of side effects. I doubt it will help me as I lie in bed tonight and try not to itch. 


There is one thing I promised myself when I started this entry: I will not post a picture from that Steven Seagal movie where he kicks a lot of ass on the boat. I will not use that image to express how my body feels. In fact, I won't use any image. There is no point in showing what can only be experienced. No, for a smile and a laugh and the knowledge that we all have a crazy range of emotional reactions to challenging times, I will leave you with this...