Day 9 Night — Work Not A Burden, But A Relief

I thought there was a good chance that once I learned that I had to start treatment, I would view my work as a burden and a waste of valuable time. I mean, who the hell wants to write blogs about Tax Resolution and Human Resources when they are facing the most frightening health crisis of their life? In fact, the exact opposite has been the case. Work has become a relief and a connection to normality or as Warren G. Harding would have said, in this obscure historical reference to a President inventing a word, normalcy. By being normal, I am not threatened and I am in control of my life. Not hanging on, but holding on to the reins in a winter storm, hoping the horses know the way home.

I like the romance of the picture and the feel of the line above. If we want, we can transfigure our lives through story and metaphor and image, turning our lives into an expression of art. Yes, I want my life to be normal, but I can elevate the normal and see the beauty and wonder in the daily encounters with my community and this world. Why not use a crisis as motivation to transform life into art? In essence, I believe the reason that we have an awareness of our mortality is so we can become decent and good despite the knowledge of a coming end. I am here to get rid of my bullshit and my fear and my ego and become an expression of God on earth by realizing my authentic self. Whatever is divine has no expectations of us beyond the freedom of being comfortable in our skin and being ourselves. That, my friends, is more than enough and that is what I believe.

I do not need the normal to be a dream. I do not need to transform my everyday existence into the fantastic visions of Christopher Nolan's Inception. I enjoy the fantastic in my movies and my books, but I do not need to pretend that it will happen tomorrow. It is a miracle enough that the sun rises and I am given the grace of another day on this planet. Not in the sense of a fear of death of any looming mortality, but more along the lines of the rare gift of this human birth and this beautiful life. Do we really need super powers or to be mutants or so much more than what has been given to us? No, without question, there is more than enough potential and possibility in this world to satisfy any human soul.

Thank God for the gift of imagination and the access it provides to wonder and fantasy. But this is enough and it does not have to affect the laws of everyday reality, the basic rules of thermodynamics and  the theory of relativity and so forth. Quantum dreams and interstellar visions rock! But today, I choose to discover the beauty and the wonder that waits and breathes and looms in my true reality. Then again, we could dive into a discussion of possession and subjectivity, but it is late and this is a bit silly.

I don't know if I could survive this challenge without the blessing of laughter and the gift of being able to laugh at myself. Silly boy, you strut and postulate and still this world receives you with open arms.