Yippie Ki-Yay! John Lavitt Wins The Gold Medal For The Worst Side Effects In The Country!

For some odd reason, it is far from reassuring when your doctor informs you that your side effects are not only the worst in Los Angeles, but truly the worst seen in all the medical trials for this new drug across the entire country. With 17 days left before so much is revealed and the computer unmasks the dosage and the viral load numbers, I truly wonder if I can make it. I have come this far and stopping would be absurd.

But is it insane to continue when my body is screaming all day long, reverberating back and forth between the wailing itch and howling pain? Yes, as the rash has torn up my body and desecrated my skin, I have wounds and scratches, sores and scabs all over my legs and arms and now my butt. But I am the gold medal winner, although it's an evil award that no person deserves and that I must endure.

I feel guilty whenever I am around my friends and acquaintances because almost all of them know what is happening and they always ask how I am doing. It is a kind question that is meant as a true sign of worry and support, but it is maddening as well. Why? Because I feel like all I do is complain and bitch about the extremity of what I am experiencing, and I can only imagine how tiring that must be to hear day in and day out.

I was forced to stop typing for a moment because my left thigh was wailing with an itch that is so deep and so insistent and almost impossible to address. When I scratch, I make it worse, right, but how am I supposed to not scratch when it itches constantly and none of the medications work, none of the creams do anything beyond momentary relief. I have used so much cream and ointment and crap on my skin that it is peeling in several places and as dry as a bone. These side effects are simply insane.

Forgive me, my friends, but I cannot continue and I am losing my ability to put words together in a clear fashion. May I sleep soundly tonight and may tomorrow be a better day.