Why The Silence? A Certain Malaise Sets In As The Hell Of The Side Effects Ends And Purgatory Is Restored But A Hero Is Reborn

I would apologize for the recent silence, but I honestly don't believe that such an apology is necessary. After going through the utter hell of six straight weeks of endless itching and intense pain, I find myself giving in to a certain malaise and ennui. Yes, purgatory is an utter pleasure when compared to the fires down below, but it is not quite a celebration and not quite an inspiration. I am tired and burned out to the bone as I struggle to retain a certain equilibrium within. It is strange because the rewards of such an experience are so much greater than the scars, but the scars and the damage of the wounds remain.

The thing about a hero, is even when it doesn't look like there's a light at the end of the tunnel, he's going to keep digging, he's going to keep trying to do right and make up for what's gone before, just because that's who he is.                                                                — Joss Whedon

I am beginning a new journey as I approach the end of treatment that I believe is successful and the Hepatitis C virus will have been eradicated from my body. But I still have another month and a half of Interferon and Ribavirin so I spend several days each week with flu-like symptoms and exhaustion. It remains difficult to eat at times and the indigestion is constant and the toilet is not my friend. But I have survived and I have learned lessons that not only cannot be taken from me, but will be maintained through practice and a loving focus. It is nice not only to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but to walk into the sunshine with the knowledge that another always awaits.

Faith Is The Realization That The Light Is The Gift Of A New Dawn

Do you recognize the hero within? Not only are you the main character of your story, but you alos have the power to define the genre of the story. It does not have to be a tragedy or a farce, it does not have to be epic or absurd. Your story is your own and you are the hero of its creation. Welcome to the freedom to define the journey of your name and your life.

Here is a new poem that I rediscovred and recently recreated... gotta love such a reenvisioning and a reawakening and a simple return because even if re is a prefix, occurring originally in  Latin, used with the meaning “again” or “again and again” to indicate repetition,or with the meaning “back” or “backward” to indicate withdrawal or backward motion, it still provides the ability to express the eternal recurrence of being a-okay. Here is that poem I mentioned above...

between

between the first step taken

and lying down on a leather couch,

between the opening of a door

and the turning of the bedroom lock,

between putting pen to paper

and checking out what’s in the fridge

fall the sunken eyes of ennui.

between the biting of a nail

and the opening of a fist,

between the twitching of a palm

and the raising of a thumb,

between the flapping of tongues

and the calmness of silence

stands the bright shadow of courage.